Thursday, January 27, 2011

Where Has Life And My Faith Gone?

Thinking about everything that has happened through the last year and a half it has left me wondering where has my life and faith gone?
I have been going over my old blogs from when we moved to Utah and even after that. We were so happy and our life was moving and growing. I feel like most last year we were just unraveling out of control and then the rest of the time we were just chasing our old life to see if we could catch up to it again and jump on. in our old blogs, they were happy and positive, and full of faith and love. I know I have not felt that in so long. I feel like I have just been standing here as a beating post for the world to just take out its anger. I feel like we have a good moment and then we are whooshed back down to where we were. I read a good friends blog ( thank you April) and I think I need to invest in personal prayer again. Even though we have our ups and downs with attending church I used to be really good at personal prayer and personal faith. I think I am faith starved and I have no idea where to look to get it. I feel like trying meditation and everything else on the world to find myself and that feeling again. I know that when I had that feeling it was easier for my family to have it. Our home used to radiate with love and it has not done that in so long. I dont think I have ever felt so alone, so helpless, and so angry. I know it sound horrible. I feel like no matter what we do it is the wrong thing or we do it wrong or just that much not enough. I am exhausted, I have never felt so low and whats worse I dont even know where to start. I am at the point where I dont know if just saying my prayers is enough anymore.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Spring Fever Has Sprung

So for the first time since we moved here I have gotten spring fever relatively early. The last few days we have had this beautiful weather. It has been sunny and almost 40 degrees (which for Utah is nice) and bright outside all day from the beautiful sunshine. So we took advantage of this fact and went to park to play outside and soak up some of that wonderful Vitamin D. The last few days have been wonderful. We have been having fun and trying to get active. Then I wake up to this snow falling like crazy. So much for spring like weather and beautiful sunshine. Hope to see it again soon and start to get outside again. :)

On a wonderful side note: As some of you know Xander has been uncharacteristically resistant to potty training of any sort. After we came home from California he went on a strict underwear strike, so we just kinda let him be and waited until he started caring again. I am so glad that we waited because he woke up one day and we put underwear on and that was that. He is now FULLY potty trained and very proud of himself that he did it. I am so proud to see what a little man he is becoming and most of the time can not wait to hear what he will come up with next. He makes me smile and has a great imagination. Keep it
 up little guy............

This morning when I woke up :(

Tuesday, January 18, 2011


Today is my big boys birthday and the time has gone by so so very fast. He is 4 today and I cant believe how he has grown and changed over the last year. He is so independent and smart. He wants to please everyone and do the right thing all the time. My life has never been the same after bringing him into this world. Please stay sweet and remember that your family loves you more then you will ever know.As a parent my goal this year is to be more patient with him and allow him to grow and find himself. Happy Birthday Baby.

                                              Xanders 3rd Birthday

Friday, January 7, 2011

Kinda random but way to funny

Ok so it has been a while since I blogged and even longer since I blogged about some random thing that happened but I am trying to get back to being happy and get back to being me again.So let me preface the story by saying that every time we go to the Treasure Store (aka. the DI) we always get the boys a toy. Usually its nothing big and we usually never keep it long. The last time we went Xander saw this jet-ski and went crazy, can I also add its a BRATZ brand which is like a Barbie thing so after all the NO's and "Mommy I want that one" we got it. Anyway...So the other night after dinner I was on the way up to put the boys in the tub and I had to document what my crazy boys thought to do. So Maddy took the jet-ski and decided that he would ride it around his room and I grabbed the camera. Then came Xanders turn and he thought it cool to show daddy how he can ride it and drift around the kitchen corner. Good thing Maddy still has enough sense  to say No when Xander says "Just sit down and go down the stairs Maddy". Kids are crazy and think of the funnest things.
                                        The brains of the operation


                                 Xander using his arms trying to drift


Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Its Been A While

So its been a while. We have been working hard to get situated into our new little home and with the holidays here as well it has been easy to get sidetracked. We did have to put a few things on  hold because we had Christmas morning here. After that we had a few bumps in the road and worked our way to the end of this horrible last year. We are so very excited about this new year. We are so optimistic about this year and how things can get so much better. We have some specific goals laid out and a plan on how to get there. We have talked as a family and have worked out how to do these changes and I am excited for everything. The boys are growing and changing and this is also a year for change for our babies. We as parents will be reevaluating some of our tactics and changing some things that we have allowed. This will be a year for changing everything and getting everyone on the right track and heading in the right future. We hope that everyone has a good new year and gets everything that they need taken care of. This is a year of change for everyone in every way whatever that change needs to be for you. Please stay optimistic for all of us.