TRYING TO BE MORE POSITIVE

So I was told that my last post was very sad and that the picture of Xander is quite sad. Well to be honest when I wrote that post I was very sad and I felt so helpless. I don't know why but at this very moment I am not feeling so sad. I feel like even though things are not really any better that at some point that it will be okay. With some communication Jimmy and I will be good and maybe even go back to the way we were when we were genuinely happy. For some unknown reason life has this way of seeing when all is good and throwing you this curve ball and that curve ball is always a choice. Now you know the right answer to that curve but for some absurd reason you feel compelled to help or try at least do what you think is trying to help. I think as humans we are taught certain things that can bring us to believe that we are indebted to other such as family, friends, and any other person that we come in contact with that does a good deed for us. I have learned very quickly that this fact is just NOT TRUE. An act of gratitude should never have any motives or selfish wants or thoughts behind it. It should be exactly what it is an act of GRATITUDE. Being a parent does not mean that your children owe you something for taking care of them for the past (blank) amount of years. You made that choice they didnt. Now yes we are all human so that means that none of us are perfect and when that curve comes sometimes we are not prepared for it and sometimes even if we think we are we cave. So now after my almost 9 year relationship 2 kids and 25 years of experience ( no matter how small it is) I hope that all of my cure balls have taught to reach and catch some and then when you see the others coming RUN LIKE HELL!!!!!!!  



So for now things are kind of looking like they have a chance. Its nothing like great advice and some tough love that gives you a swift kick to the butt and gets ya thinking. Yeah I did do this, yeah I am here, no I don't know what to do or where to go from here but on the bright side there is no where else to go but up. It takes time, hard work, harder work and even harder work but that's what life is about I guess. The love of a family, nasty curve balls, bumps, and hard work. No one got to where they are by doing nothing. You cant get out of a hole of you dont jump high, climb like hell, and work for it. 


Now this post is not sad anymore its a little happier. Its optimistic and that a lot better then before.