So life changes

So life changes. It may not always be good, it may not always be bad, but it is always something. Ive had to learn how to adapt, and that is something that I never wanted to have to do. I wanted my life to be good and perfect. I wanted the fairy tale with the white knight and the castle. I have learned that I do have a white knight but he does not appear as I thought he would. I have also learned that is does not take that exact white knight to love you or to build a life with. This man that I expected so much from has obtained and done so much and stupid me has not paid any attention to the good. The bad is so much easier to see and to focus on. I feel like weeping inside for what this change is. I have so much faith and even though I try I feel like it is never enough. Now life is the way it is and we have to learn again. We have to adapt. We never ask for these things, and even if we do we never get exactly what you ask for. So time marches on, if you fall you get up, hold on and try like hell to stay up. When is enough actually enough? When do you really feel like you cant take anymore and you know you really cant? When is that last straw really going to really break your back?

I want my life back, and I want the answers to those questions. I want to feel again what was good and what was real. I think the battles that we have and choose in life are the ones that really are the hardest just for us. I found a quote that is so perfect for what this is: (thank you Melanie)

Sometimes life can be discouraging.

Sometimes the future can look dismal.

Sometimes life seemed easier and less complex way back when.

Sometimes I worry what the future will hold.

Sometimes I get frustrated that I can't just know right now what lies ahead.

Sometimes all of this can be very depressing.

And most of all,
Sometimes when you need it the most God reminds you of something

"Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ truly is the 'high priest of good things to come' (Hebrews 9:11)"

-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Faith truly is for the future and you never know what it holds. All you can do is try. No matter how much that really sucks. You try , you hope, and you love. And hopefully somewhere along the way you find your footing and hit the ground running.