New Goals that we are actually trying for.

New things are happening and it almost feel like our old life is slowly changing into something that we thought was never possible. I am challenging myself with new athletic goals, which is so new for me I am not an athletic person at all. The boys are both in school and Xander will be starting his after school program next week. Maddy goes to preschool from 1:30 to 3:30 Tuesday-Thursday. So I get Tuesday-Thursday without Maddy and Monday through Friday from 12:45-5:30 without Xander.Hopefully I can use that time to get things done and homework too. The boys both have soccer every Saturday. My dad and step mom have moved back and we spend as much time as we can with them.  Jimmy is so excited he is getting a new manager and hopefully this one will help him and teach him everything he needs to know so that he can more up into management soon. I love our neighborhood and I dont want to move anytime soon. I love our ward and the wonderful people we have met. I have a new appreciation and desire for the gospel. There has been some new developments and things that have been around that have been detouring my spiritual growth and I think I am now in a good place in mind and spirit to try to combat those things and stay strong and learn more. I feel like we are moving in the right direction and for the first time we are a unified front moving in a successful direction and things are really looking up more then ever before.

The Schooling Begins

Hello Again

Again it has been so so so long. Things are changing so much in our house hold. Xander is going to his first year in school ever so we figured Kindergarten was a good place to start. Maddy is going to Head start and I am going back to school. I am registered for 12 units at Slcc and I am doing it all online this semester just to see how long it takes to get our bearings and then we'll see what happens from then on out. I am super excited about it I an super nervous though. It has been a very stressful process getting ready for school and we are not even there yet. Xander starts September 4th and Maddy starts (if he gets in) the week later. My term has already started and its so overwhelming but I think it will be good. Jimmy is working at Harmons and loving it he has made some amazing friends and is looking forward to moving up to an assistant position. This year so far has gone by so much better then the last. It feels like it is the right time for it to be working out. I am  working on my weight and working out 4 days a week in the pool. I go to 2 hours a night Monday through Thursday and Jimmy is so sweet to work with me and help me as much as he can and so he feeds the boys dinner and puts them down every night im there. The boys start soccer actually tomorrow. Maddy broke his leg on a trampoline so he can play his first game but he can hopefully play the next. He gets his cast off on Wednesday of this week after 3 weeks or trying to be so good and so patient. One night as I was finishing dinner for them before I left for class I looked out the front door and I see the boys spraying the nasty Weber water hose at each other. Now normally it wouldn't be an issue but Maddys cast is supposed to stay "clean and dry". And this episode was after the 4 times scraping it all the way down trying to come out of the tree he had climbed. I am so glad that this cast thing is almost over. We will post more pictures of soccer and the cast soon I am using my new computer thanks to my dad and Jen and I dont have any pictures on it yet. But for sure I am looking forward to the future and I am so excited that for the first time in a long time we are doing something all together as a family and not just staying stagnant.......So good luck to us.

A Few More Months

A few more months have passed. Its crazy how fast time is going by. I look at my older posts and I feel like I just said Happy Birthday to my Maddy Moo. So a ton has happened. We got into a car accident that kinda derailed us getting set up as soon as we wish we did so we stayed with some family and friends for a while. Now we have a place and we are so happy (or getting there) We got a car. Jimmy is working a ton and we are working with Xander to get him ready for school. Maddy will be going to pre school, Xander in kindergarten and I am going to school in the fall at SLCC. Things are changing and getting better with time. We went to the festival of colors with Carter and 2 of his friends and we had a blast we are so looking forward to going next year to the big one in Spanish Fork... Maddy will be 4 in September, Carter will be 16 in August, Bonnie is in St George now and my Dad and Jen are coming back to live from Indiana. This year is pretty good better then our last 2 and we are already in July almost. We did go to the LMFAO concert too. It was Jimmy and Carters first concert and it is hands down the funnest one I have ever been to. My grandma used to tell me that the time was going to go by whether we did something or not and boy was that the truth. Just because our last year was bad doesnt mean the time didnt go by anyway. One of the best lessons I think I will ever learn. Also in a better note I am going to church again and my prayers and feeling are getting a little better little at a time. I have missed 2 times in 3 months and one was because of stake conference and I couldn't find the regional center so im pretty proud of myself. Im so super excited that my dad and Jen are moving back they are excited to be a bigger part of the boys life and doing more with them and that also means more time with me and daddy because we have someone willing to watch them. We are signing the boys up for soccer for the fall and spring and they are excited and we got a rec enter pass and I have been going to water aerobics and water zumba 4 days a week. We have all been trying so hard to be more active and i think its paying off. With all of this and doing a garden our summer is pretty packed so far and after everything we have gone through I wouldnt have it any other way.  We just got a new insurance carrier and the boys went to the dentist for the first time. Xander did amazing and has a little discoloration on his teeth but its nothing bad just a little from when they were formed. Hopefully the adult teeth will be better. Maddy was told that he has beautiful and perfect teeth. Of course he does!!!!! We are all going to get physicals and get all of the boys immunizations in order of school so when we have weight and placements we will post for sure. We will update more from now on and hopefully things will stay on this course.

So long since we posted

So besides our post to Xander for his birthday it has been since September of last year since I posted anything. We have had so much going on lately that I think it has just haven't posted. For some reason I dont post when things are not going very well. We have had some major set backs lately and I keep asking when our life will get better and I think thats part of the problem. Instead of asking what the problem is and asking HOW we can change our life, we just keep asking WHEN will it change. I think we need to start learning how to change our thinking and doing. Not just asking when but how we can do more, and do better. I hope that this is a concept that we start soon.

On a brighter note, Jimmy got a job working for Harmons as a meat cutter and will be transforing to the new City Creek store in February, we just found out not to long ago that my dad and step mom are moving back from Indiana which will be nice because we have seen them once in almost 4 years so reconnecting will be nice and the boys will be able to see them more. This year is my year for Valentines day preparation so you know it will be a good one (sorry Honey). I am trying to plan something super romantic and with some guaranteed alone time. Cant post anything until after because I would like some surprise but if anyone has any suggestions please let me know.   Good luck to me!

Happy Birthday Xander

So I know its a little late but Happy Birthday to my big boy Xander! He is 5 now and time has flown by. I remember the day he was born and we were sitting in the hospital that night after his first bath and Jimmy and I were talking and I remember he was holding him and said "can you believe that this tiny little thing will grow so fast. One day he will be 3 then 5 then 10 then 30." And not only was he right but that was really yesterday. I now have a 5 year old and a 3 year old and that thought boggles my brain. When we started this little journey we thought it was going to be easy because h slept through the night at 3 weeks or started eating at 3 months, but in reality this is the hardest thing I have ever done it my life. They grow over night and learn new things every minute. Asking new questions all the time and looking for guidance along the way. Thank you to my husband for giving me this beautiful piece of life.
And to my Xander:


You are 5 baby and I remember holding you and singing you to sleep, I remember our morning together watch fun shows and singing while we ate breakfast. You are learning and changing and its amazing to watch. Please continue to learn and ask questions, please continue to love and change. You are one of mommy best accomplishments ever and I love you more and more each day. Happy Birthday and I look foeward to so much more.

Happy 3rd Birthday to my Maddy Mu

Happy Happy Birthday to my little man. I cant believe that it has been 3 years, time flies. My little sick baby bird is so big and strong and tough. Maddy you are a hansom strong smart wonderful little boy. You are loved and you are a joy to have in our life and our family. You are learning so much and speaking so well. We have fun everyday because you are here with us. You are a wonderful little brother. Xander loves you very much and so do your daddy and I. Your family loves you and I hope that you have a wonderful day and this year will be even more fun for you to learn grow and keep moving forward. Happy Birthday baby. 

The Other Side Of The Rainbow

So it is my belief that you get out of life only what you put in. Throughout my life I have been a habitual procrastinator and anyone who knows me well knows that. We have procrastinated on a lot of thing in our life and I think that we have learned our lesson. We are coming up on our 9 year anniversary and 10 years of being together and when I met him Jimmy was so focused and steadfast and responsible and now that I am older and learning these things (and yes unfortunately I am only just now learning) I feel responsible for how we are now just because I didnt allow him or hindered him being the way he used to be. So now after 10 painful years of learning some very hard and sometimes brutal lessons, I have learned that there is a way of doing things and there is a reason for those thins to be done that way and in that order. I have procrastinated going back to school, finding a job, learning how to live a normal life, allowing myself to listen and take heed from others who know better. So now that we are really trying and I mean REALLY trying, I think we have come to that "fork in the road" and I think I am ready and excited to move on, and in the right direction. I have found my faith again, I have found my drive and my commitment, my motherly instinct and the wife I have always wanted to be. For  some reason I gave all of that up and in doing that I have let down the most important people in my life and for that I am truly sorry. I think a family is like a rainbow it looks good on the outside no matter the problems but going up that rainbow is a long way up and a hard road. I am not saying that we have it all down hill from here but I do think that if we do what we know is right and REALLY try to better ourselves and our life and strive to take care of ourselves and never depend on others I believe that the hardest part of that climb will be much easier from now on.



I am very grateful for my new found out look on life and faith in myself and my relationship with my husband and boys. And for the first time I genuinely I look forward to future and the possibility to finally have different life lessons.